You and Your Ego
by Robert Devine 07.10.2004, changed 08.10.2004

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Blatant ego is easier to deal with... one who just wants to be seen and says me, me, me all the time. It's out front and one can simply adjust to it.

Then there's the ego of the crippled soul with little self worth who's constantly whispering in your ear, "Be small, you loser. You'll never amount to anything, anyway. You worthless piece of crud. Who do you think you are, anyway?"

This can also mask as humility sometimes from the outward view. Where someone who believes self is so bad that they always give to others, remain quiet, get trampled on, never speak up, go along with the crowd, hoping not to get noticed, stay safe. And everyone thinks they're really nice, so it's perpetuated because there's a certain satisfaction that people don't find you as ugly as you feel inside.

There's also the ego of control, which can manifest with aggressive techniques of assertion to keep everything tidy in the image of the way things are supposed to be according to a circumscribed view. Control can also manifest in other ways, such as shaming others with those same harsh words that the wounded soul now hears in the whisper of their mind.

These are just a few masks of ego, which is ever present in our lives and constantly issuing challenges to the personality to see if it can control things. Or will the personality be more inclined to follow the other inclination of spirit that guides toward enlightened reaction? The ego can see this as a competition, whereas the spirit just stays true to its task.

Somewhere in all of this are the opportunities to recognize ego for what it is, to know one's self, such that you can see where the hollow places are that so often manifest this protective and self-asserting instinct.

You can begin to see why you lash out at others, cower back, feel alone even in a crowd, strive for attention, etc., etc.

And it is only then, when you begin to recognize the culpability of self in the circumstances of your life that you may be able to let go and let God.

To know the ego, recognize it's maneuvering, and be able to accept that it is part of you, however humbling that might be, you can then begin to react aside from this impulse, or rather in spite of it.

The Divine leading takes precedence, not by slamming the ego down, by telling it how wrong it is, by hiding it away and pretending it's not there, by seeing it as an enemy, but by knowing that it is part of you and that it wants to protect you in the only way it knows how, for ego is self-preservation and self-assertion manifesting out of one's being. To know this is to recognize its faulty desire to see what's best for you, even though it often has no clue how to help.

When you can accept this about yourself, then you can move forward into more enlightened reaction to your environment. When the ego begins to see that what the Divine leading wants is not harmful, but actually good for you, then it can fall in line, tag along for the ride, and actually become a partner working for you from a healthy standpoint.

A healthy ego gives one a sense or recognition of one's capabilities as a sort of inventory that the personality may use to best implement the divine plan, rather than to assert as an infringement against one's fellows or one's self.

As the alignment process of self occurs, the wholeness of being will be realized in that it is all these factors working in coordinated relationship, in balance, that will produce enlightened responsive behavior that signifies a child of God acting as a child of God.

So tame the ego through understanding and awareness, rather than attack and slay methods and you will find that harmony of being. If you see ego in another, try to give that same understanding and awareness so that a similar pattern might occur in their mind.

The world will not change by aggressiveness and self-assertion, but neither will it change through passivity. Only in the face of true and heartfelt dialogue internally and externally, tempered by a measure of acceptance for the foibles of one another, may this process be allowed to unfold.

Forgive seventy times, be your brothers keeper, bear one another's burdens, and you will find the resulting relationship to be of a much higher quality than if you merely carve out your own place in the world with little regard for the place of all. Let go of the fear, hate, frustration, intolerance, and tendency to lash out, and recognize each other for who you are in potential. Then all the troublesome characteristics tend to dissolve away in the recognition
of the core intention that you are and that you possess.

Ego may not be an enduring reality, but it is nevertheless a possession of a material being and the more one can accept it, the more one can then accept themselves, and the more one can then accept others and the ego that manifests through them. Love is borne in understanding and when you understand yourself, then the potential is there to better understand others. The victory comes not by the vanquishing of ego, but through the knowledge and understanding that frees you to love.

[Editor's Note: The top photo is a self-portrait by Karen Cardinal entitled Masks.]